One of the many things my divorce taught me was that there are no rules in life. Sure, we have goals, we have dreams and we have plans. Big plans. But there are no rules. We work our arses off so that our dreams come true, our goals are achieved, and our plans come to life. But who is to say that they should follow a set of rules?
When it comes to navigating high school, there are no rules. Society pushes us to be great at math, great at English, excel at sport, but whose rules are they? When it comes to our career, society pushes us to climb that corporate ladder, earn that bigger pay check, but whose rules are they? When it comes to relationships, society pushes us to find ‘the one’, to settle down with, to buy that dream house, to buy that expensive car, to throw that big white wedding, to start making babies, but whose rules are they?
There are no rules. I dreamt, I had goals, I planned and one day they all went away. So now, though I still have dreams and I still have goals and I still have plans, I no longer play by the rules. I just do life. I take it as it comes. When I started seeing Mr Wonderful, right from the get go we talked about living together and having children together. We just both knew it was what we wanted. But of course we decided to let it just happen whenever it happens. There are no rules. There is no timeframe. There is no set period. It is up to us. When it feels right. For both of us.
Lately I’ve had many thoughts on living with Mr Wonderful. The babies thing I can put on hold for now, but the living together thing has been occupying my mind. I think he’s wonderful and I think we’re wonderful together, so my brain loves entertaining the idea of us possibly living together. But this is where I get stuck with this whole dating thing again – I’m not quite sure how to bring it up. Yes we’ve talked about living together some day. But not today. There are no rules. But we both need to be ready. I’m not pushing anything but I just wonder if he’s ready. Am I really truly ready?