One year

One year today, friends. A year of being husband-less. A year of heartbreak. A year of the craziest roller coaster ride I’ve ever been on. A year of picking myself up and dusting myself off. A year of constant waves. A year of lessons learnt. A year of discovery. A year of revelations. A year of survival. A year of soul-searching. A year of reflection. A year of healing.

It’s been one hell of a journey. And it continues to be. It is a work in progress. I am a work in progress. But I’m here today feeling this – strong, independent, confident, happy, healthy and thriving. I am living my life the way I want to live it. My life today is filled to the brim with positivity, light and love. I cannot ask for anything else. I am so incredibly lucky.

A year ago, I never imagined that I would be here today without the man I married. The walls of my world and my life came crashing down before me and I felt helpless, lost, confused, and so broken. I am a completely different person today. It is just magic what a whole year can do for you, if you choose the path of light and love. Which is what I did – I chose to grieve, of course, I chose to be angry when I needed to be angry, I chose to be sad when I felt sad, but more importantly, I chose to love myself and to put myself first. I chose self-respect, dignity and I chose to stand by my values and beliefs. I chose to be positive even when it felt impossible to be positive. I did my best to rise above and to keep my head above water. I did my best to stay strong.

But I did it all. Not alone of course. With help from everyone around me, from those who love me. I am forever grateful to those who have stood by me this past year. I wouldn’t be here today without them. I’m positive of that. Without them holding my hand and their love guiding me through my darkest moments, I would be in a dark corner of a mental asylum right now. I’m positive of that too.

Today hasn’t been a day of sadness. If anything, today has reminded me of all the good that is in my life – by the simple fact that my colleagues and I spent the day volunteering in an open field, setting up a sea of tents for the Ride to Conquer Cancer event that is taking place this weekend. It has been a challenging but fun and rewarding day. Spending time with people who are important to me and whose company I thoroughly enjoy has made today anything but sad. And tonight I’m spending some quality time with my sister over a nice dinner, just the two of us – she has been my solid rock over the last 12 months.

One year today. This new life I live? It’s not so bad at all. It’s only the beginning. I know I’ve barely made a dint in my story and in my life journey. I can’t wait to see what the future holds.